Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Messed Up!

Even the news is obsessed with celebrities. There were some pictures of Jessica Simpson posted this past weekend where she looked a little "thicker" than normal, Jesus Christ, she looks like she has eaten something besides salad and laxatives...then the New York Post prints this.....
No wonder my endocrinologist thinks I'm morbidly obese.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


One day me and Reut were laying in bed and I asked him what was something that he has never done that he would love to do? He said before he dies he would love to go to Fenway Park....
Well I am currently making it happen. I bought us 2 tickets to the Red Sox vs Yankees game at Fenway in August...I figured if we are going to go we might as well go big!
I wanted to get the him the best seats our prison salaries would let me afford and I did...we are infield and everything...but now I know why they can afford to pay their players so much!
He is going to fall in love with me all over again.... and I love that!


So in the midst of my Granny passing I forgot to blog about my dreaded doctors appointment 2 weeks ago.
I went to see my Endocrinologist who was appalled when I stepped on the scale and he instantly labels me as "morbidly obese." Is he freakin serious!?!?!?! I wasn't even mad...I wanted to die laughing. I am 5'8" and a size 12! Would I like to be thinner, sure, but I am more than okay being what I call "THICK" as long as it means I can eat more than just salad. So then he proceeds to tell me that I need to LOSE 60LBS. I honestly think I will look like Skeletor.....
My other half (Reut) is a health FREAK who goes to the gym daily (I'm not hateing...he has 20 inch biceps..which I LOVE) and eats a ton of protein... well now the doctor has him all freaked out and he took all the good crap out of the house. No chips, ice cream, and the big one SODA. I went through sugar withdrawal for a good 3 days and I was a total bitch. Chicken breast and rice just isn't near as good as Mexican food! He knows he isn't going to drag me to the gym...that's just not going to happen. I guess he figures he is going to "help" me at home. Where as I do applaud his efforts I still would kill him for a real coke to be in my fridge!
I have lost 7lbs...which is good...but I have NO will power and I could gain all of that back in one sitting at a buffet!
I shall keep you posted

Monday, January 19, 2009

Saturday Sucked

I'm sad to say that my Granny passed away on the 12th. So that being said we had to arrange her funeral. My Granny is from Arkansas and my Grandpa is buried there as well so we set everything up for the services to be in Lamar, AR (population 1,946, up 17% from 2000)
My dad said to me, "You don't have to go, all we are doing is driving 6 hrs for a 20 min service then driving right back." For those of you who know my dad....that means he wants someone to come but he would NEVER EVER ask. So I rode with my dad. There were hours of awkward silence but we made it.
(Let me just say in that little town of NOTHING there was 2 Mexican stores painted bright green...I swear they are everywhere)
My family, keeping true to their white trash roots, was dressed for a tractor pull instead of a funeral. My Aunt, the one who got the shovel, had on a hoodie that zipped up with only a bra on underneath it and camo gloves. My uncle had on camo pants and my dads cousin had on a orange camo jacket. The cemetery was 300ft away from a donkey farm. All through the service we heard eeeeeeeeoohhhhhhhhhhh.
So my Granny was laid to rest in true Arkansas fashion....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Only my family

God, my family sucks balls. They act so white trash sometimes. There was the dreaded "family meeting" today over my sick Granny and at one point my aunt went outside got a shovel and brought it back into the house with every intention of smashing my uncles head into the next room.....who the hell does that? All my family is worried about is how much money they are going to get when my Granny dies. Truth be known it's like $100,000 but by the time you pay all the attorney fees and the estate fees and they split it BETWEEN 10 KIDS....there isn't much left.
Get Aunt came to town to help take care of my Granny and she did the family a "favor" by making a family tree... She is such a bitch...Im adopted so she didn't feel I had a spot on that tree...Oh, my parents and my sister and my niece are on there but not me or my children. When I confronted her about it she said that she was tracing the "real" family. I have never in my life been so close to punching a 60 year old in the mouth.....maybe I should have my other Aunt get that shovel............................................